We Need You (Annual Birthday Love)

38 years ago, my little 10 pound behind entered planet Earth, and I can hardly believe I’ve lived nearly forty years of life. To some, that’s a drop in the bucket for a spring chicken; to me, it’s a great accomplishment.

No, but for real, we are. Also, I put a parenthesis in my blog title. Wow.

Every year, I look forward to writing a birthday blog, with lessons I’ve learned, but standing next to Cody in the kitchen today, I said, “I am not sure I have anything to offer, honestly.”

You ever feel like that?

Like you got a whole life of experiences, wisdom and love, but what in the world could you say that hasn’t already been said? What is our gift to the people we love, and the places we live? Is it worth continuing to show up and speak up where we can? Is there anything that can cut through all this noise and distraction?

With social media as the new norm, and the digital age soaring, and among all these fabulous humans who inspire us, it’s sometime easy to feel like there’s no point, or even place, for our contribution, for our voice.

So, on my birthday, here’s what I want to tell you: We need you.

If you’ve got 32 followers on Instagram, and 3 Facebook friends who are all your family, good for you, listen, we need you. You got a corner office job and kids you miss at home, and no one who really understands what you deal with daily, great! Guess what, we need you. If you’re still working that day job on the way to your dream job, fabulous, we need you. If you’re in college, or in your twenties, trying to figure out what in the actual heck is going on around here, you’re gonna make it, and yes, we need you. If you’re rounding the last quarter or so of life, settling into a new season of empty nesting, grand-parenting, reimagining, please know, we need you. If you’re crushing it, go ‘head! We need you.

There’s something in you the world needs, and we aren’t the same without you.

You have a necessary position, an irreplaceable purpose, because you are extraordinary, and your life matters. What you have faced and overcome, whatever obstacle is before you, all the relationships and seasons you have navigated, that is the costly wisdom we need; the truth you tell, makes us better. The sacrifices you have made to choose integrity, to stay sane, to get back up again, to live your life with peace and power.

Thank you. I honor you. Bless you in every effort you make. You are not alone. You are held, forgiven, favored. Beautiful. Wonderful. One of a kind.

As my birthday offering, here’s 16 rapid fire life lessons from my arsenal, to aid you on your journey. (Cause let’s be honest, 38 is too many.)

  • Invest in a good purse.
  • Meditate, and practice breathing daily.
  • Keep track of time on social media (its seriously altering our brains).
  • Save something every month. (I started with $20 when I was 22. No amount is too small!)
  • Deal with stuff. The trunk, closet, heartbreak, disappointment.
  • Hone your craft (even when no one watches or cares).
  • Find your tribe. Love them hard. (Found that on Pinterest. So true tho.)
  • The human body is 70% water, so drink the good stuff.
  • Serve. It’s key to recovery and freedom.
  • Mind your mind and heart. What goes in, always comes out.
  • Forgive. Often, always.
  • Stay tender, genuine, honest.
  • Integrity over image.
  • Justice is not a trend; it is the heart of the Father.
  • Ain’t no high like a Holy Ghost high! (This is real!) There’s nothing that can satisfy the needs in our soul like God; He’s our portion and our strength.
  • Pleasing people is exhausting… so is pretending and performing – just be yourself. Brokenness is not a bad thing.

You are so loved, and I am grateful for you.


You might love our most recent Why Tho Podcast, “It Takes a Village Tho” – all about why we need each other to live our best life, and fulfill our dreams.



Hey there fellow truth-teller, welcome to our community. I'm so glad you're here. I love to help people take their mask off and tell the truth, and I believe the world needs what you have to give. I write books and blogs, live in Harlem, New York, with my hubby, and two rambunctious boys.


  • Happy Birthday Ashley! Love you and the imprint you’ve left on my heart. Always grateful for a really beautiful read and reminder. xo G

    • Took me way too many years to learn this one sis!! Now I am too old to play these games. 🤣

  • Happy Birthday Ashley!!! I’m always so inspired by you and I love love these life lessons! Justice is not a trend; it is the heart of the Father. You can say that again! There is nothing like a Holy Ghost High 🙏🏼 Ain’t that the truth! God is so good! May He continue to bless you and your beautiful family! You’re a huge blessing Ashley and may God bring people in your world to help you build your dreams, just like you help build other’s dreams!

    Love Sandy!

  • Happy Birthday Ashley! Hope that you have a great day xx thank you for being the truth tell that you are!
    Love you & enjoy your day xxx Jo xxx

  • Happy birthday, Ashley!!! Thank you for this! I’ll definitely be using the lessons you’ve listed here! 🎉🎉💞💞

  • Happy birthday gorgeous sister! Trust me, age is a number and I feel 38! You are a rockstar for Jesus! Love your heart and message is on point. I need to sit and start writing. Hugs and bubbles! Hahaha ♥️♥️🙏🏽😘💃

  • Showers of Blessings & Happiness Ashley ! Happy B’Day B’day girl ! HAPPY FEET! Truly inspiring,empowering & instrumental ! YES,Wonderful RichTruth …
    U nailed a whole lotta good …gotta take some time to meditate on all above & especially see about the purse & drink lots more water! Thank you for sharing your B’Day w us in this special way ! Thank you for being YOU & your selflessness generosity & Just Being true & lovin Agape way ,Yahweh ! Let’s Keep on Keeping ON … Wishing Gods BEST for you, Ashley on your Birth..day ,everyday always
    Dazzling Beautiful Pic Ashley & Cody

    xoxo Sharlene(Shasha)

Leave a Reply to @AshAbercrombie Cancel reply