Staying in Recovery While in Quarantine
Hi, my name is Ashley Abercrombie, a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with pride, control and anger.
Since we went into lockdown for Covid-19, I’ve remembered you in my prayers. Especially those who rely on weekly meetings for sobriety and community. Christ, have mercy. God, be our comfort and our help. As anxiety and fear surrounds us, may we rest in the God who is our peace, our strong tower and deliverer, the One who is faithful to complete what he begins.
My recovery journey began in the summer of 2002, six months after moving from North Carolina (southeast of the United States) to Los Angeles, California. I was struggling with an eating disorder, bulimia, and drug and alcohol abuse. It’s hard to believe that was 18 years ago, that I’ve been addiction free! (Unless you count my iPhone during Quarantine – Jesus be a fence.) When I think about the little miracles that led to my recovery, it helps me remember that the small steps are what help me stay in recovery. Perhaps some of these habits can help you maintain your sobriety as well, my friend. Remember, millions of people are in recovery, and though many of us are in isolation physically, spiritually, we remain members of a collective body of people seeking to live, to be whole, and to do good on this Earth. You are not alone.
Small Steps to Stay in Recovery While in Quarantine:
DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING.
Everything is overwhelming, because it is, but good thing, everything is not your problem. What is the next right thing? That’s where you focus. There are days in recovery that if I was to consider the next three HOURS, I might fall off the bandwagon, much less, the full picture of my life and responsibilities, alongside something like a global pandemic. Fatalistic thinking drives us into addiction, because we assume that it’s all going to hell in a handbag anyway, and we can’t rise to the occasion in any area, so we’re overcome with anxiety and overwhelm, and we might as well use our familiar, destructive habits, to get through this difficult time. Just do the next right thing. Feet on the floor. Getting dressed, deep breathing, begin working, taking one task at a time, reading, being, making one call to a friend, whatever it is, doing the next right thing won’t sink you mentally and emotionally like doing everything.
REACH OUT.
3am, 9am, 4pm, any old time, is the right time to reach out. Whether there’s an immediate response or not, the discipline of saying, “I need help” is life giving to us. While we’re on quarantine, it’s difficult to show up for each other in practical ways, but the more we connect, the better. Asking for prayer, sharing that it’s a tough day (that was me yesterday – I started my journal entry with “today is trash…”), sending a nonsense meme, voice memo, or Marco Polo, all of it goes a long way in reminding us that we are physically separated, but still together somehow. We know sometimes in recovery; we go to the dark place. That’s part of what makes us so beautiful – full of empathy and mercy, an advocate for other people, a person who is acquainted with our own brokenness and not as afraid or judgmental of others. But friend, sometimes it’s too dark, and a little text message won’t help. I’m praying daily for you. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, or quarantined at home with an abuser, or controlling person, here are some resources for you:
To Write Love on Her Arms (amazing resources/help): https://twloha.com/find-help/
Crisis Help Line:
USA: TEXT SHARE to 741741
Canada: text 686868
UK: text 85258
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522
You are not alone, and so many of us are remembering you daily in our prayers.
STOP TRYING TO DO SO MUCH.
I read online somewhere that we can accomplish little more than half of what we used to do, especially if you are financially stressed, lost your job, are now a homeschooling caregiver, or feeling the weight of panic and fear. Maybe now is not the time to set unrealistic expectations of yourself, and take on the 75 things you’ve been to do, plus nine new projects. Remember, just do the next right thing. In recovery, if we burden ourselves with standards, and continue to fail daily, that’s a major trigger for relapsing. We need small wins, lower expectations, and if we happen to do more than we planned GOOD FOR US, but if we don’t, THAT IS OKAY. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t come out of a global pandemic with your whole life fixed, a new business, and thighs of steel. Rest, work and do your best. That’s enough.
PIVOT.
Bless my little heart, transition is tough for addicts. Part of our sobriety relies on rhythms and good habits, and idle time that’s our choice, rather than forced. It’s time to pivot. Create new habits. Break your day into small chunks of time. Go for walks or find a video on YouTube that will help you move your body. Get dressed sometimes. I know I just said to stop trying to do so much, but if it’s the right time to make a move in your career, DO IT. Lost all of your income? Pray. Maybe there’s a digital strategy to implement that will produce financial provision in your life. Have a side hustle, like writing, or content creating? Perhaps it’s time to submit articles to magazines and digital outlets, or put together your book proposal, or offer to do copy writing or editing for someone. Have you been thinking about incorporating or starting a business? Maybe now is the time. Pray, and if it is, go for it! Consider inviting a few other friends to a weekly Zoom, where you can share what you’re working on, and cheer each other on in your new pursuits.
WORK THE STEPS.
There’s so much more to say than a blog post can hold, but, don’t stop working the steps! In Celebrate Recovery, there’s a CHEESY saying (I literally used to roll my eyes every time), but it’s good: “It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!” You are! And it is worth it to keep admitting, trusting God to restore us to sanity, making a decision to turn our lives and wills over to a higher power than our own, taking inventory, remaining honest with God, ourselves and others, humbly asking God to help us with our character flaws and remove our shortcomings, making amends, promptly admit when we are wrong, practicing the presence of God and serving others. All of this keeps us focused on our healing, centered on the truth that we can be made free and whole, and our security rooted in Christ, not in our circumstances. We don’t know what the future holds, but our life is in God’s hands. (Psalm 31:15) He’s a good and loving Father, and He holds you now, my friend. Keep on keeping on. Be your whole beautiful (not perfect) self. Remember, Perfection is not the goal, wholeness is.
“There is a strength, a power even, in understanding brokenness, because embracing our brokenness creates a need and desire for mercy, and perhaps a corresponding need to show mercy. When you experience mercy, you learn things that are hard to learn otherwise. You see things you can't otherwise see; you hear things you can't otherwise hear. You begin to recognize the humanity that resides in each of us.” Bryan Stevenson, Author of Just Mercy and Founder of Equal Justice Initiative
Want to read my full story? Download Chapter One of my book, Rise of the Truth Teller for free by CLICKING HERE.