Why Order Matters in a Crisis
Captain’s Log Stardate 32520.20
It’s been 75 years of homeschooling… Er, less than two weeks, but can this Captain just tell you, care givers making the choice to educate children at home, are doing the Lord’s work. Shew wee doggie.
While this is not my first crisis rodeo, Covid-19 is certainly my first global pandemic. We’re all adjusting to a new normal, and in the midst of transition, order is an important agent of change.
Notice that I did not choose control, but order. With the illusion of security now revealed to us, we can take this opportunity to recognize what is in our care, and indeed what is completely out of our hands. Order is about creating patterns, sequences, rhythms that can help us go through (and get through) a crisis.
Instead of expecting every day to be the same (control), we can stimulate sanity, by ensuring that each day will have pockets of time and motion that we can count on (order). Consistency stabilizes us. Think of Fred Rogers, and his beloved sweater and sneakers. When he changes, Mr. Rogers settles in with us; it’s a rhythm we can count on. He stays calm, explains difficult things simply, gives us good news of great neighbors, and connects with us. Even through the television, we can feel his humility and strength. It comforts us.
Same idea during a crisis. Simple acts – like eating three meals a day, or changing clothes at the end of a work day, speaking kindly and candidly, and keeping your space organized – can help us move from denial and control, to acceptance and order.
Here’s some ideas that might help you establish healthy rhythms in your home/apartment, workplace and family, during this global crisis and quarantine.
THINK ABOUT HOW TO ORGANIZE TIME.
How can I tell you the way this has helped me? Another mom on the internet, Susie, founder of Busy Toddler, hammers home the idea of thinking in 30 minute chunks of time. Not only does this lower my expectations of me, and in my case, my children, but it gives me hope. No, I can’t do this for three hours (How?! Will I die?!) but, yes, I can do anything for the next half hour. Even if there are no little people in your home at this time, organize your time to include eating meals, connecting with friends, taking a walk, going to the bathroom, breathing and meditating. Keep your space tidy (as you can, there’s no rules here), so that you’re not wasting time cleaning, or energy being mad at the mess. You’ll be more effective if you break up your time, rather than time feeling like it’s going to break you.
EAT, AND MOVE YOUR BODY.
My friend Kat says that her week was successful if she ate three meals each day, and took time to exercise consistently. You know why this is miraculously mindful? Because most of us don’t do it. We skip meals, eat while we work, ignore our bodies and our hunger and our aches and pains – we don’t pay attention in the interest of our work. For movement, a walk around the neighborhood while practicing social distancing, stretching, doing a free workout on Amazon Prime or YouTube. I’m loving free Christian Yoga with Caroline Williams, and nearly free, live classes with We Are Full. In both, there is scripture, worship, meditation - it’s heaven on Earth! The goal here is not a six-pack and crash diet; the goal is investing energy, health and care, because those are the simple things that help us live with a more positive perspective in a pandemic.
COMMIT TO PRAY.
I am allergic to clichés, but oh well, turn your worry into worship. Fear is real right now. Many of us have lost significant income, or jobs, or the capacity to connect in real life. This is serious, and we must be people of prayer. Some of our neighbors are quarantined in homes with abusers, and children who normally have the safe haven of school, no longer get a break from dysfunction and trauma. Commit to pray, to meditate on scripture, to spend time worshipping. That might not feel like enough, but right now, it must be, since we are homebound. Before I begin homeschooling, we set a timer for 25 minutes of reading time, with the kids in their room, and me at my desk. I read verses, think about people, pray for them, and listen to worship music. Find spots of beauty and breath in your day, where you can connect with God, pray for others, and remind yourself that there will be “the other side” of this.
SHARE GOOD NEWS ABOUT GREAT NEIGHBORS.
Find a way to assimilate news in your life that does not make humanity a lost and dying breed in your mind and heart. For example, I read transcripts only. I do not tune in for press conferences, debates, or hearings, but I do read the words afterward, and fact check the sources. If something reads ridiculous, it probably is, and we need to listen to professionals, not politicians. This is a matter of life and death. Find stories of people doing good – as Mr. Rogers says, “Look for the helpers.” My friend Kristen is sowing masks for medical professionals who don’t have them. My pastor is creating digital outlets for connection, and doubling our monthly giving to partner organizations who will take a big hit during this time. My mom is working hard in the emergency room as a nurse, helping people. My neighbor’s landlord gave 10% off rent to every tenant to help offset the financial loss. A neighborhood in Boston gathered folks to sing “Lean on Me” in the street, cause you doggone right that I just might have a problem, that you’d understand. Target upped their hourly wage by $2.00, gave paid leave to everyone over 65 years of age, and offered better benefits to employees to thank them for their work during Covid-19. Share good news about great neighbors, to counteract the constant negative, even idiotic, media rhetoric in our feeds.
PRACTICE GENEROSITY.
How can you personally give? Going to the store? Offer to pick-up and drop-off goods for your friends. Make a donation to your favorite non-profit, keep giving to your faith community – no amount is too small – all of it goes a long way. Send a snail mail, text encouragement, video or voice memo to brighten someone’s day. Tell people the truth. This dude at the grocery store got way to close to me, so I said, “Excuse me, please back up – six feet!” because I am a generous neighbor, and now is the time to LISTEN TO THE EXPERTS BROHEIM. Think about others. Maybe you’re blessed to work from home, with a printer and a paycheck that keeps coming. Remember, that’s not most people, so use your words wisely, encourage graciously by including others in your thoughts and worldview.
STAY CONNECTED.
Oh, how my heart aches for people in recovery from addiction. I know that’s my personal bent, but for those who count on meetings to stay sober, I’m holding you in prayer. Please call your sponsor (or ask your meeting house for a list), reach out to friends, and take care of yourself. For everyone else (even though I believe we’re all in recovery), utilize technology to laugh, sing, pray, cry, and be together. Have a virtual meal or coffee. Host a happy hour Zoom call with your friends. Send hilarious memes over whats app. Use Marco Polo to share your heart on a consistent basis. Voice memos, face time, text messaging, whatever you can do to stay rooted in relationship, do it. You’re worth it. And so are the people you love.
That’s all for now, but I’ll be back in a few with a blog called “Staying in Recovery While in Quarantine”, that I hope will also be a blessing. Now, tell me, how are you keeping order in a crisis? Is it a high value for you? Share your tips, please – let’s help each other through this.